The 4-Step System Every Parent or Coach Can Use to Boost a Young Athlete’s Focus and Confidence

As a parent or coach, you want to see your young athlete succeed, but focus and confidence can be hard to nurture. Whether your athlete is a youth soccer player or in high school or college, these four traits are crucial for performance and long-term success.

A 4-Step System: Proven & Reliable

After 15+ years of coaching athletes at all levels, I’ve put together a 4-step system to help you guide your athlete toward lasting focus and unshakeable confidence.

This system is simple, effective, and designed for athletes in any sport. By following these four key steps, you’ll be able to help your athlete sharpen their focus, stay motivated, and confidently tackle any challenge they face. The steps are pulled together from leaders in the area of mindset training.

• Step 1: Goal Setting – Clear, achievable goals are the foundation of focus and confidence. I’ll walk you through the SMART framework and share age-appropriate goal-setting techniques that will help your athlete set personal, measurable objectives and track their progress.

  
  

• Step 2: Playing in the Moment – Focusing on the present is key to improving performance. I’ll show you how to help your athlete stay engaged during competition, using positive self-talk and physical cues to stay focused and quickly recover from mistakes.

  
  

• Step 3: Building Strong Routines – Consistent routines prepare athletes mentally and physically. Whether it's a pre-game ritual or daily habits, I'll guide you in helping your athlete establish routines that enhance focus, build confidence, and improve performance.

  
  

• Step 4: Adopting a Learning Mindset – A growth mindset helps athletes see challenges and mistakes as opportunities for growth. I’ll explain how to foster this mindset by encouraging reflection and constructive self-evaluation after each game or training session.

  
  

By implementing this 4-step system, you’ll give your athlete the tools they need to succeed in sports and beyond.

HEY! To make it easy, I’ve created a step-by-step outline to guide you through each phase. Simply leave a comment or DM me saying "I want the outline!" to get started.

Let's go!

Focus and confidence are fragile in young athletes—they can be hard to sustain. But these traits are critical for success, especially when it matters most. Whether you're a coach, a parent, or a mentor of a youth, high school, or college athlete, helping them build these qualities is essential.

After 15 years of coaching youth, high school, and college soccer players in Philadelphia, I've developed a four-step system to improve focus and strengthen confidence. These strategies are simple, effective, and can be applied to athletes in any sport at any level.

I'll walk you through the four key steps and show you how they can be used to help young athletes become more focused and confident. These strategies are transformational because they are performance-enhancing methods that foster long-lasting improvements.

Step 1: Goal-Setting for Focus & Confidence

Goal-setting is the foundation for developing focus and confidence in young athletes. It provides a clear vision, sharpens focus, and gives them something measurable to work towards.

However, I’ve found that only a few young athletes have thought about their goals in a productive way. So, it’s important to get them started early and help them make goal-setting a habit. When goal-setting becomes a habit, it sharpens focus and grows confidence.

For Young Athletes

Start simple. For younger athletes, I encourage them to set one or two goals for the year and one or two for the season. Additionally, I recommend that they create weekly goals focused on skill development—choosing one or two skills to improve each week, tracking their progress, and improving throughout the season. These goals should be SMART—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. I'll share a SMART goals framework with you to get started!

For College Athletes

For college athletes, we take it a step further. We encourage them to set career goals, as well as annual, seasonal, weekly, and daily goals. These goals serve as a roadmap for their growth, but also as a way to push through challenges.

At the start of the year, we ask them to reflect on two critical questions:

Why do I play the game? This helps uncover their core motivation and can keep them going when they face the grind of the season. Understanding why they play gives them a deeper purpose, particularly during tough moments.

What kind of player do I want to be? This question helps athletes define their individual style and approach to the game. Whether they are tactical, physical, or a combination of both, defining this goal influences how they perform and grow. This helps athletes shape their goals, from career aspirations to daily objectives, and gives them the motivation to push through tough times.

For college athletes, knowing the why and how of their play also sharpens focus and boosts confidence. By answering these questions, they become more intentional about their development and gain clarity, especially when faced with adversity.

Step 2: Playing in the Moment

When athletes focus on the present, they perform better and make quicker decisions. The ability to stay in the moment, especially when facing pressure, can give them a sense of control and achievement.

The trick here is to keep athletes from dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about what’s coming next. When we talk about "playing in the moment," we’re teaching them to concentrate entirely on what they need to do right now. This approach gives them greater confidence and more control over their performance.

For All Ages

A simple exercise that works across all ages is teaching players to "brush off" mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes in the game—it's part of the process. But what matters is how they move on from them. I encourage athletes to acknowledge a mistake in their mind, then "brush it off" as a physical gesture. This simple action helps athletes let go and refocus, and it's something that can work for younger athletes, as well as college players.

Step 3: Building Strong Routines for Focus & Confidence

Great routines help athletes control their approach to the game, creating consistency and confidence. While we can’t control the outcome, routines give athletes the foundation they need to perform with focus and confidence.

For College Players

I encourage college players to approach their warm-up sessions differently. The warm-up is not just physical; it's the mental preparation for the competition ahead. Athletes should take this time to mentally rehearse their focus strategies, remind themselves of their goals, and use positive self-talk to reinforce their mindset.

For Younger Athletes

For younger athletes, routines can be simpler. They might pick one or two affirmations or focus techniques to use during warm-ups, or have them set one clear objective for each training session. Additionally, taking responsibility for small tasks, like packing their bag and preparing gear the night before, can give them a sense of ownership and a small win to start the day.

Step 4: Shifting to a Growth Mindset for Learning

Finally, developing a growth mindset is essential. Athletes need to see their mistakes as opportunities to learn and understand that their abilities can grow with effort. This mindset not only improves focus but also strengthens their belief in themselves, which builds confidence.

For All Ages:

Ask your athletes to reflect after each training session or competition. Let them share one or two things they did well and one or two areas they would like to improve. Don’t rush to answer the questions for them—allow them time to reflect and build on their strengths. By encouraging this reflection, you help them take ownership of their growth, rather than being discouraged by mistakes.

Final Thoughts: Helping Young Athletes Build Focus and Confidence

You play a crucial role in supporting the development of focus and confidence in the athletes you mentor. Start implementing these four steps—goal-setting, playing in the moment, building routines, and fostering a growth mindset—and you'll see lasting improvements in both focus and confidence.

These strategies are simple but incredibly powerful. You can use them with athletes of all ages and sports.

If you'd like a step-by-step outline for working with athletes in these areas, simply leave a comment below or send me a direct message with the words “I want the outline!” I’ll send you everything you need to get started right away.

I’d love to hear about your experiences and how these strategies are working for your athletes. Feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions anytime.